OVERCOMING YOUTHFUL SEXUAL LUSTS AND FORNICATION, PART 2

OVERCOMING YOUTHFUL SEXUAL LUSTS AND FORNICATION, PART 2

Working Scripture: Genesis 3:6

Gen 3:6  And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

Introduction

This is the second and concluding part of the teaching titled ‘Overcoming Youthful

Sexual Lust’. You can read the Part One, here.

The part one of the teachings centered mainly on the processes of lust formation

from the beginning to the end and what are the principal lust agents at each stage.

In doing that, we examined the processes of the stages of the lust Eve went

through in the garden of Eden in eating the forbidden fruit.

However, since we are talking about sexual lust, we need to show that even the

process of sexual lust conform to that Eve went through. That, we will do by

matching the lust of Eve with the lust and eventual sexual sin of David. We will also

examine how to overcome lust and fornication at each stage.

Matching David’s Adultery against the 5 Stages of Lust

s/n	Stage of Lust	Eve	David
Stage 1	The Contact stage	Eve’s eyes came in contact with the object of her lust, the forbidden fruit, and was pleasant in her eyes Gen 3:6 …………..and that it was pleasant to the eyes	David eyes came in contact with the object of his lust, the nakedness of Uriah’s wife and she was very beautiful in his eyes. 2 sam 11: 2 …………..and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.
Stage 2	The Desire stage	Eve desired in her heart  to eat the forbidden fruit Gen 3:6  ……………. and a tree to be desired to make one wise,	Though, not stated in the bible, More than just seeing the nakedness of Uriah’s wife, David must have desired, in his heart, to have the woman as his own.
Stage3	The Planning Stage	Though, not stated in the bible, Eve must have made plans how to pluck and eat the forbidden fruit	David made plans how to get the woman to himself to sleep with her. -1. David enquired after the woman 2 Samuel 11:3 3 And David sent and enquired after the woman…………….. -2. He used his kingship authority to summon the woman unto himself. 2 Samuel 11:4 4 And David sent messengers, and took her;
Stage 4	The Action stage	Eve eventually ate the forbidden fruit Gen 3:6 ………., she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.	David eventually slept with the woman. 2 Samuel 11:4 4 And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay (slept) with her;
Stage 5	The Consequence stage	God judged Eve for her sins Gen 3: 16 16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.	God judged David for his adultery and murder 2 Samuel 12:10 10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.

Dangers of uncontrolled Lust and Fornication

There is no safe sex outside of marriage. The dangers of sexual intercourse out of marriage are too grievous. That is why God commanded us to flee both lust and fornication; out of marriage sexual intercourse.

The followings are few dangers of uncontrolled lust.

Masturbation;- is the self-stimulation of the sex organs

Seduction:- deliberate luring someone into sexual intercourse.

Pornography viewing:- viewing of images that parade nakedness of people

Incest:- sexual intercourse between family members or blood relations

Child molestation:- Using children for sexual pleasure.

Paedophilia: Sexual intercourse with children.

Rape:- forced sexual intercourse

Fornication:- Sex before marriage.

Bestialiality: sexual intercourse with animals.

Homosexuality:- sexual intercourse between a male and a male.

Lesbianism:- sexual intercourse between a female and a female.

Orgy:- indiscriminate and frivolous sexual interactions involving many people.

Premarital Pregnancy:- - becoming pregnant before marriage.

Emotional imbalance:- irrational and un-coordinated behaviours.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases and All attendant dangers:- e.g Syphilis, Gonorrhea, herpes, HIV and so on.

Steps to overcome the first stage of Lust

It is worth-noting that the instruments of lust at this stage serve to send lust signals to the heart with a view that the complete 5 stages of lust be embarked upon. These lust agents include eyes, ears and mouth.

The best way to dealing with lust is to quickly nip it at the bud at this incipient stage; not giving it the chance to progress to the second stage where it gets into our hearts. Any organ of the body which can send lust signals into the heart needs to be dealt with. These include eyes, ears, and mouth.

Based on these, the following steps are advisable to overcome lust at stage 1. 

-1. Fast and Pray

Mathew_17:21                            

17 Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

Regular fasting and prayer help to drive out and prevent spirit of lust from possessing us.

-2. Avoid pornographic/lust-inducing images

Immediately your eyes are exposed to any lust inducing images, quickly take them away. Do not look the second time to confirm. If King David had fled on catching a glimpse of Uriah’s wife that was bathing, he could have escaped adultery, murder and the eventual judgment God placed on him.

The lust-inducing images include those on billboards, televisions, magazines, computers, phones, social media and people that dress lustfully.

-3. Avoid eye contacts with strange women/men

Proverb 7:13,18,19

13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,

18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.

19  For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:

The above scriptures show a prostitute that used her face/eyes to pass a message to a young man of her intention to commit an act of adultery with him.

Adulterous men and women still use face to communicate sensuous messages to their potential sin partners. If you are able to avoid their facial communication, you may not fall into their traps.

         

-4. Always ask why

Job 41:1

1 I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?

Before you look twice at an opposite sex, always ask yourself; ‘why’?. If the answer is because you think she is ‘sexy’ or exposing some sensuous parts of her body or there is an ‘inviting’ body shape, decide that you will not look at him/her.  By so doing, you can overcome many lustful temptations.

-5. Walk and Look straight on

Proverb 4:25

25 Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. on

Many people enjoy sightseeing on the road. They look up and down, left and right, trying to catch a glimpse of every person and everything on the road. If you are such a person, you are exposing yourself to lustful images. Rather, focus yourself on your destination and reduce sight-seeing on the road as much as possible.

 -6. If possible, don’t read captions on females clothes

Some captions on females’ clothes can be so tempting. Once, I saw a caption like ‘Have a taste’ written along the breast-line of a female clothe. If a man read such a caption, it can easily spark an evil thought. On another occasion, I saw another young lady with the caption ‘love’ written on the buttock side of her clothe.

         

-7. Be in the Spirit always.

Being in the Spirit always will help you always not to fulfill the desires of the flesh. You can sing in hymns, psalms, spiritual songs and so on.

-8. Don’t listen to lust-inducing songs.

Romans 10:17

17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Your faith will grow in whatever you keep hearing and that is what your heart will think about and your mouth will profess. Don’t make a habit of listening to sensuous music and songs. Instead, build yourself up in listening to the Word of God.

Always excuse yourself where ungodly things are being said. Do not listen to profane songs.

-9. Don’t entertain lustful compliments.

Compliments like ‘you look sexy’, ‘you appear romantic’, are not good for children of God. They could arouse sexual desire and should not be tolerated.

Instead, compliments like ‘you look beautiful’, ‘you are appear friendly’ are safer and more dignifying.

Steps to overcome the second stage of Lust

-1. Fast and Pray

Mathew_17:21                                                                                                       17 Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

Regular fasting and prayer will certainly help in crucifying the heart and the flesh at large.

-2. Wash your heart in the blood of Jesus

Any time lustful or evil thought infiltrates your heart, repent of that thought and just say this simple prayer,: ‘Lord, Jesus Christ, wash my heart with your blood’. By so doing, you will be cleansing and purifying your heart. Remember Mathew 5:8.

    

Mathew 5:8 

8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

-3. Open your heart

Revelation 3:20

20  Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

God is always standing at the door of our heart. He is ready to give us instructions, warnings, corrections, guidance and so on. This may come through pastor’s preaching in the church, bus preaching, song ministration, street cry, tract, and so on. To be able to receive, you must always be of a willing heart. Your heart must be open to Him, always. Be alert.

It is important to stress that as God, through the Holy Spirit, is standing at the door of your heart, Satan also, through the evil spirits, is also standing at the door of your heart. It is who you open your heart to that will eventually enter.

-4. Meditate the Word of God

Joshua_1:8b 

8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night,

-5. Keep your heart

          Proverb 4:23 

23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

         

There is a deliberate spiritual war against the heart of man. Whether you will make heaven or not will depend on who wins the war of your heart; whether God or satan depending on whom you yield the heart to. Therefore, it is your duty to always remember this fact that there are wars, attacks, arrows against your heart, if you did not spiritually keep your heart with all diligence, you will be a spiritual victim in the hands of sin and satan.

Steps to overcome the third stage of Lust

The acronym for Lust at this stage is ‘Lust Under Secret Terms’. It is also called the Planning stage of Lust where a person in lust rolls out plans that will make him/her commit adultery.

To overcome Lust at this stage, efforst must be made to make sure a youth must make sure he take steps that will ensure he/she doesn’t fall into plans that will lure him/her eventually into real sexual intercourse.

The following steps are advisable.

-1. Don’t keep secrets of sexual advances from your parents.

Once you discover someone is constantly making sexual advances to you, open it up for discussion with your parents/pastor before it leads you into trouble. Remember, Lust at this stage is ‘Love Under Secret Terms’.

Do not go into any secret ‘Love’. If your parents and pastor should not know about it, then it may be for purposes other than that which God designs and which is marriage.

Saying things out can help you prevent problems from happening.

-2. Avoid Odd Hour Phone Calls/Text Messages.

-3. Avoid Erotic Chats and Text Messages.

-4. Don’t be in Haste to visit new friends especially opposite friends.

-5. If you must visit new friends, especially opposite friends and untrusted friends;

 -a. Do not go alone.

-b. Inform your parents about the visit. Let them give or decline approval.

-c. Supply the full information of the person you want to visit to your parents. These include the folloiwings.

-i the full name of the person

-ii. The phone number of the person

-iii. The address of the visit

-d. Let the person you are visiting know you have informed your parents about the visit.

-e. Be very careful if you must take any drink.

-f. Do not take alcoholic drink, no matter the percentage

-g. make visits brief.

Steps to overcome the fourth stage of Lust

Stage four lust is the stage where youths engage in the real sexual intercourse.

Luring, deception, force and such plans that have been conceived in stage three are executed to make sure sexual intercourse is consummated.

Efforts must be made to ensure youths do not fall into these devices.

-1. Abstain from Alcohol

There is a gas called the laughing gas. If someone inhales the gas, he will be laughing boisterously uncontrollably.

As laughing gas can induce boisterous laughter in a person without his intent, there are items can induce sexual act in their victims without their intents in a similar way and that may only realize himself/herself after the act.

One of my colleagues in the office told me a story about himself concerning the effect of alcohol.

He said, one evening, he was in his house by himself alone in his house. Then one of his friends called him to come over to the friend’s house. The friend told him they had just imported about ten girls for a parlour party and it seemed the numbers pf boys on ground were less than the number of girls imported. So they needed my colleague to come over and make up the number. My friend told him he was not coming because he felt like just being alone on his on that evening.

Later, my colleague said he took some bottles of beer. After taking the beers, he picked his phone and called his friend for the location of the party. After being told, he entered into his car drunk and drove all alone late night to the venue of the party. Not only did he attend the party, he also took one of the girls to his house to go and spend the night with him.

After narrating the story to me, He asked, ‘what is the difference between my first response to the invitation and my final action?’ ‘Alcohol’, he said. He wondered how he had gone through many risks; driving drunk, late and alone just to pick a girl he had never met to come and sleep with him over the night. He said, alcohol was what changed everything.

Many youths have ended up committing fornication under the influence of alcohol.

Many rapists have succeeded in using the influence of alcohol to rape their victims.

-2. Be careful with perfume.

Proverbs 7:17-18                                                                                                 

17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.

18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.

As laughing gas can induce laughter, many perfumes are erotica and can spark great and uncontrollable sexual urge. Many prostitutes use erotica perfumes for their trades and men will find them irresistible as the smell of the perfumes permeate through their brains until they eventually sleep with them.

-3. Don’t touch condoms.

Abstinence from sex before marriage and mutual fidelity with one’s spouse after marriage is what God commands His children to follow. However, with condom, youths tend to have a sense of false protection from STDs and unwanted pregnancies and as such may want to go ahead and commit fornication.

I remember my days in higher institutions, students that had condoms in their possessions were always under pressure, looking for a way to use them.

-4. Don’t engage in horseplay with opposite genders.

Rough plays, tickles, pecking, and unrestrained touching of body parts should be avoided.

-5. Be careful with gifts.

At times, gifts can be used to buy over the heart of a youth and make him/her do what he/she will not do ordinarily.

These include gifts like phone, clothes, ice creams, a trip to fast food joints and so on.

-6. Flee

Once you notice that a situation with possibility of fornication can arise, quickly flee.

Steps to overcome the fifth stage of Lust

We said in part one of these teachings that the fifth stage of lust is the stage for unrepentant fornicators. It was stressed that fornication is addictive and as such, if spiritual care is not taken, any youth who get to the fornication stage, the fourth stage, may not discontinue the act until they are lost finally.

The following steps are useful to come out of fornication.

-1. Open up

Proverb 28:13                                                                                                  

13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

Satan does not always want sinner to confess their sins so that he can continue to use the secrecy of the sin committed to keep him in bondage. A person is on the verge of overcoming any sin that he can openly confess. Any youth that has fallen into the sin of fornication prior to this teaching should confess it to the Lord in prayer and then open it up with his/her parents and pastors for guidance and counseling.

Remember, LUST at the fornication stage is ‘Lured Unknowingly to Sexual Trap’. And one of the conclusions that was arrived it about an animal falling into trap is that it cannot remove itself. It needs someone else to remove it from the trap.

In a similar way a Youth that has been lured or walked deliberately by himself/herself into the trap of fornication need someone else to help him/her come out of it, otherwise, he/she will continue to wallow in fornication until he/she meets his/her destruction.

-2. Forsake it

From Proverb 28:13 quoted below, it can be seen that repentance from sin does not end with confession/opening alone. It is not complete until the sin is forsaken.

Proverb 28:13                                                                                                  

13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

Such a Youth must forsake his/her fornication totally before the Lord can grant him/her mercy for his/her confession.

-3. Burn the Bridge

Galatians 2:18                                                                                                                   18  For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.

Sit back and think of the lust items that led you to fornication and do away with them. The steps to take may include the following.

-i. do away with all the people that led you to fornication

-ii. You may have to block the phone numbers of sin partners

-iii. You may have to change your phone numbers if sin partners are still disturbing you through it.

-iv. Do away with all pornographic images like magazines, photos, videos and so on.

-v. Do away with sensuous music.

-4. Go for Deliverance

Fornication is very addictive. It may be very difficult to overcome the desire or urge for fornication. If you find yourself undergoing this, it may be necessary for you to embark on deliverance to be totally free from the spirit of fornication.

Mathew 17:21                                                                                            

21 Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

-5. Get busy

If you have been idle and have nothing doing, engage in doing some productive endeavors during the most part of the day.

Don’t always stay idle or alone until you have totally overcome the desire for further fornication.

-6. Go and Marry

1 Corinthians 7:8-9                                                                                                           8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Any youth that is spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially matured and cannot contain the desire for intimacy should discuss with his parents/pastor if he can start the process of getting married.